Vivien Claire Podcast

60: Detaching Emotionally in Business: How to Overcome Setbacks with Resilience and Confidence

June 29, 2023 Claire
Vivien Claire Podcast
60: Detaching Emotionally in Business: How to Overcome Setbacks with Resilience and Confidence
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Can you recall a time when a business setback felt like a personal attack? It's a situation that I have encountered frequently in my business journey. From losing clients to failed product launches, I've been through it all. But the real learning has been understanding that it's not a reflection of my worth but just a part of the business. Hear my personal anecdotes and learn how to detach emotionally from these situations, viewing them from an outsider's perspective. I promise, by the end of this episode, you’ll have a fresh outlook towards business challenges.

Ever felt like someone copied your work, or that the world is conspiring against you? We have all been there. The second part of our conversation focuses on learning to view these challenges objectively and not take them personally. We'll discuss how to maintain positivity and keep moving forward, regardless of the hardships. With a balanced perspective and understanding that business is just business, not a personal attack, this episode will equip you with the mental strength to navigate your business journey with resilience and confidence. Let's take this journey together, shall we?

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Speaker 1:

Hello everybody, welcome to another episode. I am so happy that you are here, as always. So you know, you got the headphones popped in, you're ready to, you know, lock into this episode, and this is something that's been sitting on my heart for a little bit. So I was like yo, it's time to make a podcast episode about it. And what we're talking about today is things that I'm no longer taking personal in my business, and if you follow me on social media, i've kind of touched on this a couple of times, but I was like we need a little bit of an expanded version of it. I have more to say, but as we're, you know, rolling into summer, i feel like I just get really motivated in my business. It's probably the sunshine right. Living in Canada, or especially where I'm at in Canada, we don't get the most sun, i feel like. So when the sun is out you know this kids are almost out of school It's like, you know I really start to feel motivated. My attitude, my happiness is at like a higher level. I guess you could say So I'm like yo, what am I no longer taking personal We in our business? obviously, our business is like our baby, right, we're so deeply involved in it And all these different things coming at us. Sometimes it's just like it feels like a personal attack on us And really and truly it is not. And these three things are that I'm going to get into are things that I once thought were a personal attack. I was like, okay, if this happens to me, this is, you know, at my core, attacking my character, or you know, someone's trying to attack my business or they don't like me. There are so many feelings that would go through my head And now, having been in business, like I'm in my eighth year just in lashes, right And lashes and business coaching and online courses I'm in eight years there. But before that, when I was a child, a youth worker, i also taught soapmaking classes. So I've taught hundreds of students through my soapmaking classes and I did craft shows and different things. So I had a taste of business a little bit before I got into lashes. And these same things kind of would translate in that time too. And there's been so many conversations with my husband. Just being like this is not working out. This thing is stressing me out. You know this happened And he's been in business a lot longer than me. My husband's been in business for himself since he was like 18. So he's like, okay, calm down, breathe. I promise you it is not what you're thinking it is. And now that I've been in it so long and just come at it from a different mindset and kind of almost looking at my situations that I come into or things that happen, i try to look at it from a lens of like outside, looking in. And when it comes to our business it is very, very hard to do, easier said than done, i know, because, as I mentioned, it's like our baby, it's a piece of us, our business. But it's not personal, it is business And there can be overlap. You know, sometimes there are situations where someone might actually be out to harm your business. I'm not saying those things don't happen, but a lot of the time that's not the case, but it feels like it. So I want to start with clients leaving. This is something I am no longer taking personal, unless someone would say to me Claire, it is because you did x, y, z. Then I know that it's personal, but clients are Come into our business ecosystem and clients leave our business ecosystem, and I know it can be really difficult to navigate some of these emotions because our clients come to us and we know about their kids and their parents and their job and their you know work drama. We know about some of their saddest moments and their happiest moments. So if a client leaves our business, we think, well, what did I do wrong? Why don't you like me? Why don't you like the service that I'm providing? and we take it to heart, because they have shared so much personal Information with us or they've been with us a long time. I had a client who has been with me five years probably. She was with me and She just recently left and went to another lash artist and I actually Brokered that deal, i guess you could say. You know, i reached out to the other lash artist and She had been with me a really long time And things were good until they weren't good and you know, the styling wasn't really what she was feeling, different things along those lines. It just wasn't feeling connected anymore and what I could do for her in my business, my styling, you know, wasn't really suiting with the needs that she had. So I said to her straight up I was like, do you want to try a different lash artist? And she was kind of like well, I don't know like it feels weird, right For your service provider literally to almost give you away To another service provider. But I was like at first, you know, when she was coming to me with her concerns for a few appointments, i felt I felt No, i don't want to say attacked, because it was not like that at all. I just felt kind of hurt, like oh, she's not happy here. You know, she's not loving the service that I'm providing and although I was trying to tailor it more to what she wanted, it wasn't fitting right, wasn't hitting, and So I felt a type of way about it. But then I tried to take a look at it from an outside lens and I was like I still Care about this client, I still want her to get the best service possible, and if that's not with me, it's not with me. Clients come into our ecosystem, they leave our ecosystem right. So I approached her and said do you want to try a different lash artist? and at first she was kind of hesitant. Then she was like you know what? I will try different lash artists. Do you know anybody? so I recommended her to someone who is absolutely fantastic and She went and saw them and, as far as I know, it was a good fit and And she's happy. And I'm happy knowing that my client well, you know My past client is out spending money and feeling like she's getting what she wants in return for that. And I know this is almost a higher level Thinking, because it's so hard to get into a space where we're okay with this. And I will tell you, from when the situation first started, i didn't feel super okay with it and then, as you know, i thought about it from a different angle. I was like okay, i, you know, go to different service providers, whether it's for my nails or my hair, and I want them, you know, to support me and I want to be happy when I'm spending my coin with somebody. So that's just an example. So, clients leaving your business I am no longer taking that personal because it is just business unless they tell you you know You're doing a crap job, you suck, your mean whatever. Then yes, i guess you could take it a little bit personally, like, oh, shoot, no, but Sometimes it's just not a match anymore and that is okay. Or sometimes they don't even want to get the service anymore, so they're gonna leave As a service provider. People will come into your business, they will leave your business, they will come back to your business. You know they. I don't think we kind of feel like we do a lot for our clients which we do but our clients don't owe us anything at the end of the day, right? You know, if we look at somewhere like Walmart, we don't as consumers, we don't owe Walmart anything. If I choose to go to Target instead, well, too bad for Walmart, like I'm not gonna give them an explanation, and I know that's a big scale example because obviously they're a gigantic corporation. But just think about that, right? Like, where you wanna spend your dollars is up to you, and I would never want anybody to tell me that I can't go to another service provider. So we have to think of it from the lens of our client just wanting to maybe try something new or not get the service anymore. It's not our job to beg them to stay right. Our job is to try the best, within the skills that we have within our own ethics, i guess of our business or how we operate our business, and if that doesn't work for the client anymore, that's okay. They may find what they're looking for with another service provider And, ultimately, you don't want anybody staying in your business with you who isn't happy, right? Because I would never want someone to spend money with me and know that they're like, well, i'm not really that happy with what's happening. So no longer taking it personal if clients leave your business. Another thing no longer taking personal is if I launch something and I have lackluster sales to what I was hoping, and if you are in the business of launching say you do online courses or eBooks or whatever it is when you launch, you have targets in mind. Right? I run the numbers. This is how many people I have on my email list. This is how many people I have on my social media. This is how many people who have shown interest in it. These are the numbers I am projecting. How many freebies people have downloaded? These are the numbers I am projecting for my launch. It doesn't always hit your numbers. It can still be successful. I've had launches where it's still, by all accounts, successful, but I didn't hit the targets that I thought I would hit based on the numbers that I've ran, and that's okay. It doesn't mean that people don't think I'm a great educator. It doesn't mean that the course or product I put out is not worthy. It probably just means that I didn't target it properly, right? You know, maybe my messaging was a little bit off, maybe my delivery, the date I launched on who I'm launching to the ideal student for this program, like you can't take it personally. You just have to go back and look at your system and look at your offer And I get students a lot of the time because how I teach creation to launch, teaching people how to create their own online course or masterclass, people are like Claire I launched it was a complete failure. I had two students and it's like okay, well, first of all, it was successful because two people still bought the program. But let's go back, let's peel back the layers and see what pieces of your launch could have some tweaking so that you can have a more, you know, successful launch, moving forward and ultimately help more people with the product or offer that you have. But I don't think we can take it personally as like it's a slight on our character or a slight on who we are as an educator or a business owner. No, it means that there's pieces of the system that are off that we have to tweak and fix as we move forward. So it's something I'm no longer taking personal. You shouldn't take personally. Think of it from a little bit of an analytical perspective both of them that we just talked about whether it's clients leaving or launching something and not living up to the numbers that you had established for yourself, you know it's not hitting like it's supposed to hit. We have to think of it on an outside scale and peel back our emotions from the situation and really look at it logically. And the last one, last but not least this is a kind of a quick episode is someone copying me. I have had this happen and my first reaction is anger. I'm not going to lie to you. Okay, immediately, i am mad because you know we work hard to produce our content and come up with original content, and I'm, you know, so frustrated and I lived in this for a while, being very frustrated seeing people copying my content And then this is what happened to me. Okay, this is what happened. I had posted a video and it was me recording to the camera. I had my microphone set up you know, kind of like that podcast looking set up We see it a lot on Instagram and I had set it up. I had come up with a topic and I recorded the video and I posted it. Um, like I don't know, a couple hours later I'm scrolling the feed and I see someone else had posted this almost identical to mine. They had posted it with almost a similar looking camera, the quality they had, the microphone, the topic was even similar And I was like yo, i am frustrated but wait, wait for it. Okay, like you're going to be surprised. They had posted this. And then I looked. I was like when did they post this? Because I just posted mine a few hours ago. Like, are you serious? They were that quick to copy me. They had posted it the day before, the day before, and this person is also in my niche. Okay, so you know, we would see each other's content. They posted it before me and I had not seen their post. Like, i had not seen it, i couldn't believe it And I was like yo, it looks like I copied this person. They posted the day before me I only post a couple of hours ago. Our message is similar, the style of our video is similar. Like what? This is intense And I ended up I panicked and I took the video down, but it really taught me a lesson. I was like I thought I was coming up with something so original And I was very quick to accuse this person of copying me. And meanwhile I had posted it After they posted it before me and I had no idea If you are in the same niche as someone. There are lots of topics, but there are going to be popular topics that many creators are going to touch on at the end of the day. Right, i talk a lot about creating online courses. There are lots of topics within it, but there are the heavy hitters. Other people besides me are going to talk about the same thing And if we are both knowledgeable in the topic, we're going to have similar points, different delivery, maybe different tweaks here and there, but there's going to be similarities. So I realized that I can't take it personally sometimes, and there are going to be instances where people are copying you word for word, bar for bar right. That that's going to happen, right, and it has happened to me and I've seen it happen to lots of my friends in the creator space. But there are also going to be times where things are similar and it's not because someone is copying you. It is simply because you are in the same niche and you guys are both talking about popular topics. Example this is such a simple one. If you're listening and you are in the lash industry, which we know I also am people talk about retention, retention, retention, retention. I have heard it done a hundred times. Are they copying each other? Maybe not, maybe they are, but also it's just a hot topic, right? So if you notice, yes, someone is using the same exact language as you. Someone is, you know, looking at your stuff, commenting at your stuff, and then their stuff is made really close together. Yes, they probably are copying you. That does happen. I'm not excusing that. I'm just saying we can't always jump to take it personally, because a lot of times it is not that it's being copied, it's just that it's a similar niche, similar topic, and that happened to me. I was so quick to be like yo, are you serious? right now You're copying me down. You're copying me down to the setup of the video, and it was not. She had posted it before me. So I really think we should just look at it with a lens almost outside of ourselves and just try not to take everything personally. So, whether it is clients leaving, it is not having the same sales that you wanted on your launch, or if it's somebody copying you. I just encourage you to try to look at it from a different lens. Of course we're human. It is a work in progress. I am not perfect. I'm sure there'll be instances where I will feel a type away about certain things, but we just have to try our best and always continue to try to move forward. So I hope this podcast episode helped you. It felt good to say it and share it with you guys, and until next time, stay golden.

Detach in Business
Not Taking Things Personally
Looking at Challenges Objectively